How to Stop Complaining & Reframe the Way You Think

Life doesn’t come with a manual, so if you are here doing the research yourself, it’s a moment that requires self-praise. 

If you’ve been complaining a lot recently or you’ve being told you complain a lot, let me start with this: complaining is the expression of being annoyed or unhappy about something. 

Of course you’re allowed to express how you feel whenever. But there comes a point where you’re only complaining and not taking any action. And this is when it impacts your lifestyle, your health and the people around you. Our mind and bodies are very clever. It listens to what we say and can keep us stuck. If you’re expressing every day that you’re “so tired” or “so busy” or “so stressed” – what do you think your life is going to look like? 

I used to be a “so busy” and “can’t wait for Friday” complainer. People asked me how I was and I answered, “sooo busy!” or “it’s almost Friday!”. Looking back, I want to slap myself across the face! The ick is so real because busy is not a feeling or emotion. But being busy then made me feel important and worthy. So even though I complained that I was always busy, I low-key liked it. It gave me (false) purpose. And behold when things got ticked off my list and there wasn’t much to do, I got bored and uncomfortable. I didn’t know how to relax. I took on more things to fill the void and my life continued to be “busy”.

Then on a random day, 5 years into working I noticed my “catchphrases” and got so annoyed with myself. I thought, if I am always busy, then that is my normal. So why am I complaining? What can I do about it? 

And that was the answer. In its simplest form: what can I do about it? 

I began answering with “I’m okay” or “I’m good” or “I’ve been better” when asked how I was. I accepted that my work-life was busy and that it wasn’t going to change unless I managed my priorities better. I shifted my mindset to “ok, this is my life, how am I going to make it meaningful?”

The more I asked myself what could be done, whenever I complained or got upset, I became less annoyed. What also happened, to my surprise, was what I could only describe as boredom. It truly felt like, “oh, this isn’t as fun”. Everything became less chaotic, but I had the mental space to decide how my life was going to go.

Once you accept your situation for what it is, find contentment in it and then do something about it, life really pivots in the best way. 

It’s easy to complain, it’s challenging doing something about it. 

So, do you want to wait for the grass to get greener by itself or do you want to do something about it?